1. |
Retard Fanfare
00:21
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2. |
How Ya Doing Baby?
03:05
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How ya doing baby?
It's been a long, long time
Since you first heard the news
Of that government slime
Slip down your slinky slide
Catch a ride on sewer train
It came to you from a broken dream
Slather lips upon us cream
How ya doing baby?
How ya doing baby?
How ya doing baby?
How you doing today?
Pick your nose with your broken toes
Your candid lips and twinkling toes
You're like a dream on which to grow
Fantastic slab of don't-you-know
How ya doing baby?
How ya doing baby?
How ya doing baby?
How you doing today?
Pumpkin pie it tastes so nice
On a pie immersed with rice
Secret jams from beyond time
(I want some rice)
Secret plans with Bill O'Nye
I love you baby
More than words can save me
I love you more than dreams
Suckle on these sweetest creams
How ya doing baby?
How ya doing baby?
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3. |
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OK! Alright!
Remember that time? I combed your hair
It was so beautiful with no despair at all
You're better than an evening dance
Through the grass with Grandma Cass
Becuz compared to Hell, you're beautiful
It's true, when I'm with you it's like
A waterfall by the lake
Where the birds go, for goodness sake
Now baby, it's time...for you to be mine
Optimus Prime never fought so many
Demons in his lifetime
Until he found a love to call devine
Honeysuckle blossoms in Springtime
Always seem to make the right kind of time
For you and me...
Compared to hell, you're beautiful!
It wasn't too long ago we slept with the snake
It wasn't too long ago that you became mine!
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4. |
From Daddy To Me
01:16
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Open up the letter box and what's this I see?
A love letter written from Daddy to Me
A note in my lunch pail, what could it be?
A love letter written from Daddy to Me
You'd better behave like I know you can
Try and be brave you're my little man
I hate when you cry when we are about
Have you had dinner, would you like to go out?
Open up the photo book and what do I see?
A photo taken of Daddy to Me
Open up the present under the tree
It's a ball gag, signed From Daddy To Me
You'd better behave like I know you can
Try and be brave you're my little man
I hate when you cry when we are about
Have you had dinner, would you like to go out with me???
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5. |
Don Knotts
00:06
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6. |
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Here comes the Prince, he has a royal wish
To lube up his gloat with a slice of the quiche
He squeams and he squirms like a pinnacle germ
And if he asks you to dance, don't you pass up the chance
Little Prince, Little Prince Chauncey Jones!
(Chauncey Jones)
Little Prince, Little Prince Chauncey Jones!
(Chauncey Jones)
(Chauncey Jones)
No big bones about it, he's classy as a fox
He'll order Chinese takeout in a snappy leather box
He once boned the Queen, he's just that kind of guy
He'll love you on a bagel, you can make pizza anytime!
Little Prince, Little Prince Chauncey Jones!
(Chauncey Jones)
Little Prince, Little Prince Chauncey Jones!
(Chauncey Jones)
(Chauncey Jones)
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7. |
The Captain's Journey
03:13
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The Captain took his ship and sailed away
To the magic boat, he got into the boat
And he floated away, to another plane
Where there was a ship
And then when he was on the ship
He sailed away to another boat
And he took the boat to a plane
And he got into the plane
And he took the plane to a bike
And he got on the bike
And it was a tricycle
And he rode to town
where they shot him down
With a big gun
It wasn't fun, but he recuperated
And got aboard the Dragon
And then when he was on the ship
He sailed away to another boat
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8. |
Asstronaut Song
01:33
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Here I am in space
I'm here! I'm here!
Come and fetch me Mother
Won't you dear?
Here I am outside the atmosphere
I am filled with dread
I'm filled with fear
Here comes a little alien
A creature I can hug and kill and then
Maybe I will find a friend today
Maybe he will come my way
I am coming back to Earth
Satellites and spaceships all around me
(Smokin' Jim Beam Sausages)
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9. |
Interlude
02:13
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10. |
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11. |
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Time again for lovers
But where is he?
He's probably somewhere dreaming
Is he dreaming of me?
Oh so many nights ago
By my window I hold this candle close
Oh, I hope he's not a ghost
You must have been sent here on a cloud
Pillowy and soft like a dove
You must have been sent here on a cloud
A cloud to bring you my love
Time again for pizza
But who do I call?
Maybe I'll call Pizza Hut
If they're close
Oh so many kinds of pizza
I could order on my phone
In my window I hold you close
You must have been sent here on a cloud
Pillowy and soft like a dove
You must have been sent here on a cloud
A cloud to bring you my love
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12. |
Ye Olde Pony Song
02:37
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Up on the mountain where the sun hits the sky
Oh baby don't you cry!
Oh baby don't you cry!
And I'm holding on to a lock of your hair
That I grabbed right before your gruesome demise
Pony, pony you'll be alright
Now pony, pony, oh, aahhhh
Wade through the blood of the deathly war
Wade through the corpses, some of which you've never seen before
With their slack-jaws, and their open mouth grins
As the crows nest inside of their eye sockets
Oh and pony, pony, pony, pony don't you cry
Pony, pony, pony don't you sigh
Pony, pony, up where the sun meets the sky
Pony pony pony...
Like a love a pony, song about loving my pony
A song about loving my pony
La da da da da da da
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13. |
Butter On My Gravy
03:31
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Got a shadow baby in the moonlight
Got a shadow baby in the sunshine
Saintly as a cloud, all night long
In the sunlight...In the sunlight...
Ah, I'm in love wit cha baby
Put some butter on my gravy!
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14. |
Chirpy
03:01
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The cudgel men wept upon the starboard ship
That set sail away from our hero that day
But Chirpy had his role to play!
The stage was set, the lights were wet
It's as hot as it can get in Disco Lounge 18
Holla back if you know what I mean
It's still totally obscene!
But Chirpy has his lines to say!
Vaughn VanBuren only gets in the way
Angel food cake on a ripple fudge wake
Chirpy had this clams to shake!
Set my soul on super-bake
Set my soul on super-bake
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15. |
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16. |
Can't Kiss Love Goodbye
04:39
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I feel so lonely when the sky is black at night
I wish I'd meet that special someone
Everywhere I go the people all smile, but me
No not me
Try my best and I just can't find a way
I go through symptoms of heartbreak everyday
But I can't give up hope, no
I continue to pray, and I will find a way
You can't kiss love goodbye
No matter how you try
It will be by your side
You can't kiss love goodbye
You can't kiss love goodbye
No matter how you try
Look it in the eye
You can't kiss love goodbye
There are times when my heart feels so alone
I sit at home right beside an empty throne
I can cry, I can scream and I can moan
But it's no good
In this light, I see your face
It's like a psychic love embrace
Through the fog, to your open arms I race
And then I'm safe, oh I am safe
No you can't kiss love goodbye
No matter how you try
It will be by your side
You can't kiss love goodbye
You can't kiss love goodbye
No matter how you try
Look it in the eye
You can't kiss love goodbye
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17. |
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Retarded Muppit Farm California
Retarded Muppit Farm (RMF) is the greatest band you've just now heard of. Founded in 1996, RMF have released thousand of albums, though they are perhaps best known for their 1999 Grammy winning record "Supernatural" featuring Rob Thomas. In 2009 they released "Thriller 2", and now, 5 years later, the boys have returned with "Weezus" as part of their ongoing youth outreach ministry series. ... more
Retarded Muppit Farm recommends:
Lubricating the Pathway to the Silver Godhead (LP)
by Julian Buttersweets
First album from frequent RMF collaborator Julian Buttersweets (AKA Matt)
go to album
It's Hard Work Being Born Moist (LP)
by Julian Buttersweets
Second album from Julian Buttersweets...featuring a cover of Olivia Newton John's "Physical"
go to albumIf you like Retarded Muppit Farm, you may also like:
Speakeasy - Live 2016
by John Robins
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
go to album
Taylor Ham, Egg, And Cheese
by Chris Gethard
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone.
go to album
In A Time Of Trouble A Wild Exultation
by Jaye Bartell
A stunning and sparse follow-up to last year's "Light Enough" from Brooklyn songwriter Jaye Bartell.
go to album
Just Putting It Out There
by Aparna Nancherla
This dry, wry, gently absurdist comedian's first album is the inaugural release for Tig Notaro's new label, Bentzen Ball Records.
go to album
